The above might make you cringe, but it’s exactly the kind of thing you see in cyberspace!

Here are some ways in which you can play nice in the sandbox.

Social Media Etiquette – the rules of engagement

Be nice: Isn’t that easy? I mean being nice should be second nature to all of us, so, you’d think that this one was easy. In reality, it is one of the toughest things to be.

You see, to ‘be nice’, you have to act with a great deal of courtesy. For instance, you need to:

1. Listen first, talk later. To start off on the right foot, with your friends or your clients, you have to listen to them from start to finish and understand what is being said.
2. Allow others to finish what they’re saying before you dive in. A whole lot of misunderstandings can be avoided that way. Do not shout others down.
3. Say ‘Hello’, ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’. You’d be amazed at the power of these words.
4. Send out replies in a timely manner. No one likes to wait on your good humor forever.
5. Take the time to greet people. Acknowledge their presence and let them know you’re happy to have them with you.
6. Speak positive. Others will love listening to you.
7. Avoid being a badmouth. Period.
8. If you have a different point of view, by all means express it. Just do so kindly; and never do it because you want publicity.
9. Be regular. You can’t post thrice an hour for a week and then, just disappear.
10. Never ignore a contact who takes the time to write to your personally. On the other hand, if someone sends you a message without any indication whatsoever of how they know you, then it’s alright to ignore them. You need to use your discretion here.
11. If you reject an invite, it’s always a nice idea to explain why you rejected them. Maybe a simple explanation like, ‘I do not deal in this kind of business’ would suffice.
12. If you are sending out a friend invite, be very specific about how you know the other person. Many people just cannot remember you even if they’ve been introduced to you.

Keep away from hard-core selling: Let us go back to the party situation above once more. Imagine, that instead of playing, you were to stand up on a chair, get everyone’s attention and ask them to line up and pick up a business card from you, one by one? Can you imagine what your friends would think of you?

Many small businesses are doing the virtual replica of this when they troll in targeted communities within social networks. When you try to sell your commercial interests without adding value in any way, your online presence becomes nothing short of obnoxious. In other words, you’re spamming and sooner or later, someone is going to ask you to ‘Get Out!’

Add value: Many people believe that it’s enough to participate in a conversation. Sorry, that is simply not true. You need to add value.

Your aim is to build a community that benefits from your presence. Figure out how you can become a resource. Earn respect. That’s one step away from earning their affection. It is also the easiest way to becoming indispensable.

Cooperate: ‘You scratch my back, I scratch yours’. That’s the philosophy. Social media gives you ample opportunity to build your business. You can use it to take advantage of people power. But, you need to do it in a direct and forthcoming manner. Ask people directly about what they want, what they think and how you can improve to help them. This is the best way to gain important feedback and valuable insight. They’re your friends. Let them help you – and thank them for helping you!

Social media is a wonderful tool that helps you extend your business network. It opens up the whole world to you. But, a lot of people make the mistake of looking upon social media success by counting the number of contacts they have. Actually, it’s not the quantity that matters. Quality is what counts.

If you want good friends, be a good friend yourself. It’s that simple! Or, is it?

Resource:

Dos and Don’ts social media etiquette

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© 2010, Tiffany Odutoye (@virtualpartner). All rights reserved.

I don’t know about you, but the hype over having large communities might be a little over rated.  That is if you look at sheer numbers to determine influence.

Here’s what I mean, if you have recently received a “Facebook Friend” request, then ask yourself:

1) How does this person know me?

2) Why do they want to connect?

3) Do I really care?

4) What will I give back?

5) Have I tossed the ping-pong ball back by visiting them and giving a meaningful “shout-out” or acknowledged their presence?

It’s so easy to accept a request, only later to find out that you’ve been fooled by a spammer! Or worse, that you’ve become a “taker” and not a giver.

That applies to Twitter too!  Really, any community that you commit to joining expects something of you–engagement.  Will you “bring it” when you join?

Here are five tips to being a “giver” and not a taker while social networking:

1) Listen first.  Try get a sense for what your audience likes.  If it doesn’t work for you, swap out a friend or two to improve the quality of your network and relationships.

2) Think about what they need.  Give them both what they want and need.  You’ll only know this if you’ve grown your community in a targeted way.

3) Mix it up a little by making the shift from “marketer” to “problem solver”.  Stop pushing your stuff and pull a little to figure out a solution you can respond with.

4) Stop looking for your angle.  You know what I mean…you’ve got a favor “you” need.  STOP!  Put agendas aside and just “be here now”.

5) If you feel you have nothing of value to say, then be okay with contributing a “ditto” via RT (re-tweet).  Imitation is still the greatest form of flattery. Oh, and saying nothing at all might be the wise course too.

Ultimately, never forget that social networks are just platforms, and that we must humanize the tools.  A case in point, not long ago I noticed that Starbucks had a post on Twitter for a talent opportunity. Notice the human touch after I contributed a response…

Saw this while online

Thought of who in my network would fit.

They provided a human response. Notice the initials.

At the end of the day, people care about, and want to do business with people that the know, like and trust.  So be more than a “friend” or a “follower” taking up space on someones profile – be engaged and watch your influence shoot through the roof!

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• Growing a new community is hard work and may not change people’s habits (socialmediatoday.com)
• How to build your following on social sites (solutionset.com)
• 10 Ways to Measure Social Media (howtospoter.com)

© 2010, Tiffany Odutoye (@virtualpartner). All rights reserved.