Why engagement means more than just being a “Facebook Friend”

–Relationships matter more!

I don’t know about you, but the hype over having large communities might be a little over rated.  That is if you look at sheer numbers to determine influence.

Here’s what I mean, if you have recently received a “Facebook Friend” request, then ask yourself:

1) How does this person know me?

2) Why do they want to connect?

3) Do I really care?

4) What will I give back?

5) Have I tossed the ping-pong ball back by visiting them and giving a meaningful “shout-out” or acknowledged their presence?

It’s so easy to accept a request, only later to find out that you’ve been fooled by a spammer! Or worse, that you’ve become a “taker” and not a giver.

That applies to Twitter too!  Really, any community that you commit to joining expects something of you–engagement.  Will you “bring it” when you join?

Here are five tips to being a “giver” and not a taker while social networking:

1) Listen first.  Try get a sense for what your audience likes.  If it doesn’t work for you, swap out a friend or two to improve the quality of your network and relationships.

2) Think about what they need.  Give them both what they want and need.  You’ll only know this if you’ve grown your community in a targeted way.

3) Mix it up a little by making the shift from “marketer” to “problem solver”.  Stop pushing your stuff and pull a little to figure out a solution you can respond with.

4) Stop looking for your angle.  You know what I mean…you’ve got a favor “you” need.  STOP!  Put agendas aside and just “be here now”.

5) If you feel you have nothing of value to say, then be okay with contributing a “ditto” via RT (re-tweet).  Imitation is still the greatest form of flattery. Oh, and saying nothing at all might be the wise course too.

Ultimately, never forget that social networks are just platforms, and that we must humanize the tools.  A case in point, not long ago I noticed that Starbucks had a post on Twitter for a talent opportunity. Notice the human touch after I contributed a response…

starbucksjob 300x157 Why engagement means more than just being a Facebook Friend

Saw this while online

starbucksjob2 300x136 Why engagement means more than just being a Facebook Friend

Thought of who in my network would fit.

starbucksjob3 300x118 Why engagement means more than just being a Facebook Friend

They provided a human response. Notice the initials.

At the end of the day, people care about, and want to do business with people that the know, like and trust.  So be more than a “friend” or a “follower” taking up space on someones profile – be engaged and watch your influence shoot through the roof!

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Why engagement means more than just being a Facebook Friend

© 2010, Tiffany Odutoye (@virtualpartner). All rights reserved.

  • http://www.twitter.com/elijahryoung Elijah R. Young

    Tiffany,

    I agree that numbers by themselves are useless in determining influence on social networks, but the unfortunate truth is that while we as social professionals understand this, our clients don’t have the same viewpoint.

    Our clients and customers have a strong need for “social proof”, or seeing that a number of people bought into the message or ideology before they did. So while inflated numbers by themselves may not be an intelligent strategy, having those numbers to coax our new audience members to join a seemingly large community of like-minded individuals is sometimes a necessary evil.

    Elijah

    • http://www.virtualpartner.biz Tiffany Odutoye (@virtualpartner)

      Powerful point about “social proof”. Thanks Elijah for starting the conversation!

  • http://www.gemstonepartners.biz Julie Davis Friend

    Tiffany,

    First, nice blog entry! Secondly the points are spot on! Just like in “real-life” it isn’t always how many friends you have, it’s the quality of those relationships. And like anything worth having, they take time to cultivate and can be lost in an instant. We also don’t keep a tick list of all the things we’ve done for people and what we expect to get in return.

    The social media environment is awesome! But it opens up a huge arena to many people that haven’t realized how powerful the spoken word can be. Additionally, in “real-life” there is a code of conduct, manners. For which there is an online version.

    Having said this, there is an appropriate time and place to worry about “ROI” which a “case study” can demonstrate. But it’s also a fairly personal environment that is better served when someone test drives it, albeit with professional guidance. I can speak to this personally, as I have been undergoing one of these myself, and am absolutely amazed at the contacts I’ve made that I would never have been able to do without it.

    Once, this test was completed, I can now begin to build campaigns etc. that are trackable. I also have my contacts that have been built, to help to get “the word out!”

    I am not a “social professional” but I am a professional that is social and understands the intrinsic value of this media. The world of social media “levels the playing field” for individual entrepreneurs and small businesses! Where else can you have the ability to connect with companies like you referenced above, among others?

    The results for different types of businesses also vary, so what one company can expect will be totally different. But one thing I can guarantee, “you’ll never know unless you try!”

    Keep up your great work!

    Julie

    • http://www.virtualpartner.biz Tiffany Odutoye (@virtualpartner)

      Would love to see your work around ROI. It’s a pretty hot topic and practitioners and experts in the space have been grappling with it for years. Thanks for contributing.

  • http://247interactive.com Will Burrus

    Good Stuff!

    The operative word: engagement.

    What you are reinforcing, and what we all seem to be struggling to maintain in the midst of these tools with such a low barrier of entry – is a sense of authenticity. We need to resist the temptation to just friend or be friended by anyone, and to join any community just for the sake of numbers, if we are in fact seeking valuable engagement in our use of social networks – Facebook and Twitter in particular. I dont think you can have true engagement without authenticity.

    To Elijahs point, we, as the internet community, have largely gravitated to the ‘instant gratification’ side of the fence, and thus created a false indicator of value in our numbers. This is not surprising , given our inherent, narcissistic nature but it needs to stop for these tools to survive and remain useful.

    Personally, I feel that clients and customers are getting tired of the noise of networks and ‘friend count as social proof’ ideal is going away (thank God!). Hopefully soon, we can get to the point where friending a client or colleague is looked at as a privilege or honor again, and we can get back to using these tools for in-depth ‘engagement’ again.

    As you so eloquently put it – Relationships do matter more.

    • http://www.virtualpartner.biz Tiffany Odutoye (@virtualpartner)

      Will, I agree being apart of a community is a “privilege” and and honor, and it would be wonderful for it to be seen that way. I’d love to do a poll to see how much “social proof” really means to buyers. Something definitely to watch.
      Thanks for your contribution!

  • http://www.twitter.com/mattsorr Matt S Orr

    Nice tips Tiffany…I agree that being discerning on how you will interact with your new friends or followers is very important. Just like in real life, we need to be more conscious of how we choose to grow certain relationships. Not having an agenda like you said is a great step to truly engaging your audience on social media.

    Matt

    • http://www.virtualpartner.biz Tiffany Odutoye (@virtualpartner)

      Thanks Matt!

  • http://NeedSalesNow.com Teddy Anderson

    Tiffany,

    Thank you for writing such an excellent post. I really love your giver tips. Being a giver is the fastest way to achieving your final point – “At the end of the day, people care about, and want to do business with people that they know, like and trust.”

    Teddy

  • kkreft

    Good post.

    In any relationship, there is give and take. I call to mind those times where I’ve been there for a “friend” whenever they were in need, but anytime I needed something from them, they couldn’t be bothered. That is how some people seem to see social media – as a one way outlet. But that’s no different from traditional media and as marketers, we need to strive to ensure that social media is kept as a two-way communication platform.

    I’ve heard that there is a 70-20-10 rule to keep in mind. 70% of your posts/tweets/etc. should be information that you’re sharing in order to help others. 20% should be helping others get their word out (via retweets, etc.), and 10% can be self-promotion. This was a rule for Twitter, but honestly it should be a rule for life.

    Can you imagine what a better world we’d live in if this applied to every facet of our interpersonal communications?

    • http://www.virtualpartner.biz Tiffany Odutoye (@virtualpartner)

      Karin!

      Love the 70-20-10 rule. I think I’ll have to “borrow” that. I usually say 80/20, but will include 70-20-10 in my next presentation! Great stuff. Thx. Oh, and yes, the world be a better place if we applied that rule in everything.

  • http://www.liveunitedcentralohio.org Chris Groves

    I love tip #5! Once I started posting information I thought would be helpful to our community and not only “the PR we needed to get out”, the quality of interactions on our fan page improved greatly.

    • http://www.virtualpartner.biz Tiffany Odutoye (@virtualpartner)

      Thanks. Please post your fan page link so we can all “fan” it!

      • http://www.virtualpartner.biz Tiffany Odutoye

        Http://Facebook.com/talksocialnetworking

        Thanks!

  • http://www.dobox.com/ Bruce

    I love tip #5! Once I started posting information I thought would be helpful to our community and not only “the PR we needed to get out”, the quality of interactions on our fan page improved greatly.